Sunday afternoon

It's all happening. The world continues to turn, our eyes continue to blink, our hearts continue to beat. Life is good--I can't really think of a time when it was anything but. I find myself today really investing a lot of thought and energy towards questions that will mostly likely only be answered after I'm long and gone.

I had an all day Friday and all day Saturday one credit course called "Women Mystics". I showed up sans expectations, and left with a semi-clear wandering mind about the power of the divine, the spirit, meditation, devotion, and transluscence. The instructor asked us to go outside and find inspiration in some of the writings from St. Hildegard of Bingen. We had crayons, and paper, and were surrounded by sunshine and the hustle of the Portland Farmers Market. This is my kind of assignment...I've got myself some crayons, I picked out my favorite colors, I'm laying on the grass in the sun, I don't have to work tonight, stick a fork in me, I'm done... So more or less, I really got in to my little niche in the park blocks and had no problems clearing my mind. So I will share this curious thing that came up during my internalizing moments. Here is an excerpt from the writings of St. Hildegard...

"Hail to you, O greenest, most fertile branch! You budded forth amidst breezes and winds in search of the knowledge of all that is holy. When the time was ripe your own branch brought forth blossoms. Hail, greetings to you! The heat of the sun exudes sweat from you like the balsam's perfume. In you, the most stunning flower has blossomed and gives off its sweet odor to all the herbs and roots, which were dry and thirsting before your arrival. Now, they spring foth in fullest green! Because of you, the heavens give dew to the grass, the whole Earth rejoices; Abundance of grain comes from the Earth's womb and on its stalks and branches the birds nest. And, because of you, nourishment is given to the human family and great rejoicing to those gathered round the table..."(qtd. in De Sancta Maria (To Mary) (Trans. by Jerry Dybdal and Matthew Fox. In Hildegard of Bingen's Book of Divine Works)).

I had to laugh for a moment when I tried to imagine a McDonalds commercial with some kid saying that to a tree outside with his happy meal in his lap. The wonderful thing about her writings is that you don't have to associate yourself with any religion or even investigate Hildegard's personal beliefs to appreciate what she says, or how she describes the earth, the environment, the circle of life...food. Food and drink used to be enjoyed, appreciated, honored, respected, more holy, more familial, more sensual, and more nourishing. This was because people nurtured the land and the crops as they nurtured their family. It was an entirety of processing seeds to maturing and ripening as you would your children. Unique are those now whom find it very necessary to encourage and teach their children how to find and look for the beauty of creation and richness in their food, and their food choices.

Not to get too off track, I have spent the last couple of days curiously absorbing the things around me that may or may not be taking us further and further away from ever raising our families, and treating our neighbors with the respect and attention to community health and future preservation. Can we go back to that place? How many of us will? Can I even get there? I don't know, but we can take small steps. I know that if I give myself unrealistic expectations then I won't learn from the process and the individual changes I can make today, tomorrow, etc.

I saw my sister, my nephew, my niece, and my brother-in-law today. My niece and nephew are getting those opportunities, and are being exposed true health and happiness. And as soon as they are big enough, you can bet they'll be out berry picking with their Auntie Virg.
(I'm losing track of my thoughts, more later...)