PCT and Gypsy Cafe

Yikes... I can't believe I get internet here. So I thought I would take advantage of the opportunity, and share about my new temporary home.

Since I left work about a month and a half ago, it has been a whirlwind of yumminess, but also my damn sea legs kept yelling at me to get on the road, and go far far in to the unknown.
Two days after my last day of work, I graduated from college, it took me nine years, and no, I'm not a doctor. My Momma threw me and my brother's girlfriend, Serenity, a party, and the tufurkey snausages where sooo good.... I got to spend time with family that I haven't seen in a while, and it put a warm feeling in my tummy.
A few days after that, we started our PCT hike.
Tatyana, Rose, Matt, Sara J, and I... Oh and my dog, Maggie Poop Deck Pappy Mae.... That is her official name. We just call her Poo Bear, or Pappy. Well ol' Pappy burnt the snot our of her paws on the first day. Eight miles on highway 84 in ninety degree weather will do that I guess. I felt really bad, and I thank God there are no child protective services for canines. My Mom drove out to Eagle Creek that night where we were going to camp, and picked the pooch up. And we continued in and set up camp. We only did about 12 miles that day.

I wish we had video of the five of us trying to tie up our food bags in the trees, it was one of those situations you had to witness first hand to truly appreciate the comedy.
I bathed in the creek the next morning. It felt so good to strip down naked and take a bird bath in freezing cold mountain water.... And I thought we were far enough up the trail that no one would see me... I was mistaken, and the morning's first runner got a full frontal... Poor guy, he missed out, because my backside is so much better :)

The next three nights were amazing as well, I highly recommend walking over the bridge of the gods, you get such a better view of the vast river and gorge, and you can take advantage of the steel grated bridge, it's like your floating across...
We covered another 12 miles that day, and stopped early to camp at Colgate Lake, I made some lentil curry and chili over the fire, I think I could have just ate that the whole time and been fine.

We got up at the butt crack of dawn and started again. This time we would cover over 3500 feet and 22 miles total. The pictures don't do justice to how truly breathtaking our views were. We started hitting patches of snow, (we worried about the amount of snow left from reports, but we had to try anyway, it was 90 degrees everyday, so we were praying that things had melted enough to get through the summits)... As we came around the lee side of the mountain, we were crossing 8ft deep patches of snow that were covering and hiding the trail. We went in about half a a mile, and the patches started getting deeper, and larger, and we realized we couldn't keep going without equipment, even then, the trail wouldn't be visible for some segments. So we took a vote, and decided it wasn't worth someone getting hurt.

All in all it was a total of four nights, five days for me. When in the long run, it was scheduled as a 2 weeker. Long story long, I'll be going back soon to finish her off.

SO...I'm staying at the Gypsy Cafe in Sunny Valley Oregon right now, I'll write more later, about in between the hike, and now.
and I'll write more about now.... Later...

Life is what happes when to you while you're too busy making other plans

I caved.
I totally caved.... I had half a serving of Nyquil last night to make me sleep. And I'll be damned if it didn't work like a charm. I barely made it to the bed, and I'm pretty sure I lost 5 pounds during the night from the amount of drool I woke up in... it wasn't a very holistic approach to sleep deprevation, but it worked, so there's the rub.
I snuck away to a great little spot tonight to do some drawing and brainstorming for my sister and brother-in-law's new non profit organization. I'm so proud of them for taking time out of their busy lives to start an NPO--one with very honorable values, and a wonderful mission.
My nephew called me today to tell me he was going to his first session at karate class. I don't care who you are, but when a 5 year old calls you to tell you all about his new karate class, and then says ever so calmly, "Well I'm gonna let you go Auntie Virg, I love you so much, and I miss you".... you can't help but melt in to little pieces. He's such a little man, he's growing up so fast... his little league uniform fits him like a potato sack on a celery stick--it's the cutest thing I've ever seen. I am so in love.
And my niece... Awe, don't even get me started.
My cousin is due in about 5 months, I'm so excited for her little one as well. You gotta love the kids for choosing our family to be brought in to, we're nuts, we're all over the place, but we know how to camp, and we're always there for eachother. What would families be if you didn't have good stories to pass on to the next Generation?

Which brings me to here. Here I am. here i am. here...
I believe in the power of attraction. If you're not familiar with it, it's not attraction as in, "if I look hot, people will come talk to me".... not that kind.
The power of attraction... Whatever you desire or want in life... You are in control of willing it to yourself. It truly is all in your thoughts and your outward energy and actions. If you haven't read or watched "The Secret", give it a shot sometime, it's available on netflix, or at your local bookstore.

So my life is exactly where I want it, and right where I put it. And next up, we have these paths that are in front of me, (cue the high-school graduation music)....
But seriously, I decided I wanted another transition, I wanted to take one of those county roads that you pass on those long raod trips... and see what's down there. Or when you are going for a walk, and you wonder... "what would happen if I knocked on the door of that house?", or "if I continue to walk, for as long as I could, would that change the entire course of my life?" The whole butterfly effect, I love it... It's so exciting, and fantastic. And the key is to not worry about whether your choices will take away other choices that you have now. Or if a choice will close other doors that seem to be available now. Because you can't worry about those other things. Life is now, even if you make a "wrong" choice, it's still not a wrong choice, it's a choice, and you are in control of the outcome of everything.

Oh boy, that was turning in to a tangent. My inner dialog was grabbing randomly in to thin air at a query of thoughts.
I'll try and stay on track.

I realized today... As I was tearing apart my Mom's garden, the sun was starting to set, I was covered in dirt, I was barefoot and had the standard whitetrash farming attire on (cut off pink tshirt and basketball shorts from the 8th grade), it was hideous, humurous, and comfortable all at once... I was tearing out weeds like a crazed woman on her fourth frappacino when I looked over and saw Maggie, my best friend, laying in the last sun spot on the edge of the garden. She was right next to the hoe, rake, and my giant mug of water... And she was so happy... just a dog in her element, taking it all in. squinting her eyes as the sun went down, and half of her black coat was covered in dried up weeds and soil.
I realized then, that after my whole day of working and trying to figure out my next move, trying to pick the best road, I realized that this is life, right now, right then, was exactly where I wanted to be, and what I'd asked for.

This is something that I know, and that I"m lucky enough to realize on an every day basis. I love life because of this, because I am grateful for everything I have right now at this moment, and it's very easy to make me smile. And I'll be a monkeys uncle if that 45 pound black lab basset hound slut is going to make me happy just by her easy dog ways... But sometimes I forget, and sometimes my mind gets on the train tracks and starts circling... But it's good to be reminded.

MY LESSON FOR TODAY.... IF YOU GO OUTSIDE MORE OFTEN, YOU GET REMINDED OF HOW BEAUTIFUL LIFE IS, HOW YOU CAN SHARE IN THE GLORY OF THE EARTH... IT WANTS YOU TO ROLL AROUND IN IT, AND TO LOVE IT LIKE YOU LOVE WHAT IT GIVES YOU.

Narcaleptic Little Women

It's 7am... And I haven't slept at all. One of many nights withouth sleep. I tried reading, writing, tea, other stuff... and having the tv doesn't help. My eyes were wide open for three movies, the last of which was the 1990's rendition of Little Women. It's funny, I remember getting that book for Christmas the year before the movie came out. I was so excited to read it again, because I knew that Christian Bale was to star in the coming box office hit. And we all know how yummy he is. So I tore through that book, while constantly envisioning myself as Jo, beign much adored by the handsome and gentle Christian Bale (you have to remember I was only 13).... Until the end when he ends up bangin Jo's little sister.

Irrrreeegaaaardless.... I found myself dropping a few suprise tears, then a few scenes later, a bit of a cry emerged... that soon passed, and about an hour in to the movie-I was sobbing like I did the first time I got benched for throwing a fit on the field in little league. What is the deal. Well, it's a beautiful story, and it's very human, internal, and emotional.
Here I go again....
There aren't a lof of things like that anymore, at least readily available, and since almost everything is readily available, we have to search for the good stuff.

I want to sit with my children every day and read them stories, until they are teenagers. I want my house to be small enough so that you can smell the fireplace and the stove from every room in the house. I want all of my clothes and all of my shoes to be able to fit in to a small chest of drawers, and I want to have a relationship with everything in my home, and everyone around my home...
I want my dogs and my kids and my husband to have dirty feet and hands at least once a day, and when the linens smell fresh, or the wood in the house smells of violet and vanilla, I want it to be from fresh herbs from the garden, and newly picked wild flowers, and not from chemicals or anything brought home in the back of a minivan.

Why is it that we are so drawn towards or attracted to new things? Or the most up to date products? Why do we find plastic childrens toys so apealling? Why don't we cherish our family heirlooms and take care of them... perhaps it is because we dont' really take care of anything anymore. You can always go buy a new one, whatever it is, just down the road. It breaks my heart. It breaks my heart in pieces. The excess of things, the desire to have stuff, what is that, what does it mean, why do I feel I am a part of it, because I am, no matter how badly I want to be naked of it, no matter how I try and shed it, I still pull from its' branches fairly regularly.
I'm working on it, I'm baby stepping, but damnit, am I going about it right. However it is happening, the less I feel it amongst me, the more I feel in touch with myself and the music, and the heartbeat, and the earth, the dirty, dirty, fabulously romantic earth.

A lot?

Five things I think are impossible...
My Mom told me about a sermon she watched on television today. The pastor spoke about our faith in the Lord; and our faith in ourselves. How the majority of people walk around believing that God will take care of them. That God can make anything happen. Whether you believe God, energy, higher powers, yourself, and/or all of the above, whatever you believe in...
Although we believe that we will be taken care of, that these entities of strength see no boundaries, and their powers are limitless, we somehow find a capacity for things that are IMpossible. How is it that we find a place for a constant stream of IMPOSSIBILITIES if we speak as if we have faith that anything can be done and nothing should be given up on.
The pastor asked the viewers to make a list of 5 things that they themselves believe to be impossible, that even though they trust in God, they still think these things that they are to write down cannot be done or undone.
It suprised me that I had 5 things to write down. I really thought my heart and my mind were more open.
So I wrote my list.
1. A world without intentional violence and war.
2. A world of complete sustainable living.
3. A world where animals do not suffer by the hand of man.
4. I am completely comfortable, aware, and joyed with my body and appearance.
5. I find love and a kindred spirit again that gives me no doubt of serenity and peace.

Why do I feel these things are impossible? When... in the broad sprectrum of things, these are the things that play on my inner dialog daily. These are the things I work towards. The first three.... these are the things that I work towards changing. I want this to happen so much, but I struggle with the vast amount of people that are on the othere side of it, contributing towards the violence, the need for resources, and seperating themselves from the source of their food, products, and daily habits.
The fourth and the fifth I didnt' realize I saw as impossible. Perhaps it's just because I haven't given them a chance in the past few years, because I've been so focused on the other three. I feel old, I feel bleh... Not firm... however, I KNOW.... that these are not impossible. It is up to me. It helps to write these things down.
And even though I still wonder about the first three, it will only get better if I continue to work in efforts to take the edges off, and if more do that, the smaller the problems will get. Violence and suffering have to be replaced with something. The less of that, the more of the other stuff, which is undoubtedly better than any phsyical pain.

Do you have a list? Why don't you trust that God can make these things happen? I just wanted to talk about it.